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Jul. 20th, 2007 | 07:39 am
posted by: amacmillian in tranquilparents

Someone included this in a mailing list I'm part of (Non-Violent Communication - Parenting), and I thought I'd share it with you.

Mothering Myself

In a society preoccupied with how to best raise a child

I'm finding a need to mesh what's best for my children with what's necessary for a well balanced mother.

I'm recognizing that ceaseless giving translates into giving yourself away.

And, when you give yourself away, you're not a healthy mother and you're not a healthy self.

So, now I'm learning to be a woman first and a mother second.

I'm learning to just experience my own emotions

Without robbing my children of their individual dignity by feeling their
emotions too.

I'm learning that a healthy child will have his own set of emotions and
characteristics that are his alone.

And, very different from mine.

I'm learning the importance of honest exchanges of feelings because
pretenses don't fool children,

They know their mother better than she knows herself.

I'm learning that no one overcomes her past unless she confronts it.

Otherwise, her children will absorb exactly what she's attempting to

I'm learning that words of wisdom fall on deaf ears if my actions contradict my deeds.

Children tend to be better impersonators than listeners.

I'm learning that life is meant to be filled with as much sadness and pain
as happiness and pleasure.

And allowing ourselves to feel everything life has to offer is an indicator of fulfillment.

I'm learning that fulfillment can't be attained through giving myself away

But, through giving to myself and sharing with others,

I'm learning that the best way to teach my children to live a fulfilling
life is not by sacrificing my life.

It's through living a fulfilling life myself.

I'm trying to teach my children that I have a lot to learn

Because I'm learning that letting go of them

Is the best way of holding on.

Nancy McBrine Sheehan

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